pineslog | ( march event ) mad skillz

EVENT: MAD SKILLZ

The flyers were everywhere. Slipped into mailboxes and taped to windows, these yellow sheets of paper are more than ready to catch a few eyes. That parking ticket you thought you got, tucked under your wiper blade? Nope, that's another flyer. (It goes without saying that each public trash can holds at least a few.)

Honestly, it's nearly impossible to live in the town of Wayward Pines and not know of the Skills Fair being hosted in a park north of where most of you live on this upcoming Saturday. Whether or not you choose to attend is entirely up to you.

Venture toward the park on 3rd and Alder anytime between 11 AM and 5 PM, and a colorful assortment of tents will greet you, from which drifts the buzz of conversation and a small assortment of downright delicious smells. The first few tents - the largest by a decent margin - are the food court and the sign-in desk for anyone looking to teach. It's far from mandatory, but a volunteer from the tent makes a lap every so often to make note of those who didn't sign up, for a full list of skills that newcomers can show up and learn. The food court hosts your typical limited variety of BBQ and pseudo-cultural foods, good for a quick bite and respite from a long day of sharing skills.

The rest of the park hosts a scattered grid of smaller tents and booths in varying colors. At first glance, they seem to be free for use - even since you've arrived, one or two people have strolled in off the street to set up one booth or another with relevant teaching supplies. Feel free to claim one for yourself, or maybe just stroll through the park and see what there is to be learned.

Taped to a tree or tent every so often is a request for those offering to teach any excessively loud or alarming skills (like firearm proficiency) to take their pupils to the makeshift shooting range set up two blocks north for the occasion. It's nothing special, a series of near-pristine targets in an unnecessarily large area taped off with bright yellow safety ribbon, but it's more of a shooting range than the town had before. Any other skill in need of some sort of target is also welcome to use the range, if they need it. In fact, it may be a wise alternative to trying to teach knife-throwing or archery in the park; below the request is a warning, stating that in the case of any injuries sustained at the Skills Fair, deliberate or accidental, the individual who caused the wound will be held responsible as if they committed assault. If that's not incentive to be a little more careful, what is?

Additionally, on the side of the sign-in tent and pinned to a tree facing each of the surrounding streets is a copy of the Official Notice, framed and enlarged at 1.5x, in case anyone might forget.

Might want to keep it in mind. You never know who might be listening.

MOD NOTES

This is a catch-all for any and all threads pertaining to the Skills Fair!

PLEASE INCLUDE IN SUBJECT LINE: Character Name, Skill Being Taught if applicable, and Open or Closed, to help keep things a bit more organized. (For example: "Joe Biden | Teaching: How to become a meme | Open!")

If you have any questions regarding this event, feel free to ask them here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( come one, come all! step right up! see howard stark fold and throw the perfect paper airplane! witness howard makes infinitesimal calculus his bitch! stare in amazement as he solves a rubik's cube in under 5 seconds while hanging upside down and drinking vodka through a straw! scratch your head until it is raw and bloody as howard does the impossible and plays three octaves across four strings in a hand span!

and you — yes you! — can learn these skills by stopping at howard's booth. ~~once the waiver of liability is signed.~~ hurry! and he will also teach you how to cheat at poker for no additional cost! and, as an added bonus, you could also learn how to talk your way out of having your thumbs broken after being caught cheating at poker! WOW! all this for the low, low payment of absolutely nothing! you can't get a better deal than that!

act now! supplies are limited! )

( a glimpse of the rubik's cube on his way around the park stops izumi in his tracks. what is this booth even teaching? the show howard puts on is impressive – stunningly pointless and unnecessary, yet impressive still. it's enough to drop izumi's jaw open, if by a little. )

Whoa! How long did that take?

( he'd been passing by, but it must've been a few seconds at best. that's cool.

who cares about poker. )

( "stunningly pointless and unnecessary, yet impressive still": name of his sex tape.

at izumi's question, howard barks to victor goodsprings (standing off to the side with a stopwatch in his hand) to tell him the time. in a quiet voice, his employee rattles off the time. howard then repeats it with a smug smirk. ) 5.15 seconds.

( granted, it'd probably be quicker if he hadn't performed the trick five or nine times by now ~~and if he hadn't been sneaking sips of the whiskey from the poker lesson~~. it's understandable though. the hanging rubik's cube is a really cool trick. plus the possibility of howard getting drunk enough that he turns blue in the face and falls off the monkey bars must be a very appealing idea to the townfolk. he can't blame 'em. he'd do the same thing if it was someone else hanging upside.

so far, though, the booth has been fairly busy, which makes this all worth it. even if he was to damage his beautiful face in the process. but no one said business was for the scared or lazy. )

( sold out in every local store, no doubt.

he wasn't expecting an answer; however, when he hears it, izumi leans closer to the booth. a second glance at the rubik's cube shows that it has, indeed, been solved completely. the guy must be drunk, to boot. )

5.15!? That's crazy! Is that what this booth is about? To teach us how to do the same thing?

( minus the pointless and unnecessary parts? )

( the pointless and unnecessary parts? the hanging upside and drinking vodka through a straw parts? because pal — those are the parts that make the act. without those, you're just solving a boring rubik's cube in five seconds. it's called showmanship! showmanship! that's how you get the folks to come back — give 'em the ole razzle dazzle.

he snorts, rolling his eyes a little as he does. ) No, we're teachin' shadow puppets. See — ( howard holds out his palm and, using the index finger from his other hand, makes a gesture that would look like an elephant's trunk, if it was performed in front of a flashlight. ) Elephant eating a peanut.

( izumi wants to just solve a boring rubik's cube in five seconds. the other parts did nothing for him. let him live!

he eyes the hand gesturing like an elephant with an arched eyebrow. isn't that a myth? )

Why would an elephant be eating a peanut?

( BOOOOOOORING. if howard ever needs help going to sleep, he'll ask izumi to perform his boring rubik's cube trick. that oughta put him in a coma for seventy years.

sarcasm sharp in howard's voice, ) He has a vendetta against Mr. Peanut. How the hell should I know?

( this ain't the "psychology of the typical pachyderm" booth, kid. )

( perfect. please pay him a tip that covers seventy years' worth of service.

that being said, izumi doesn't know the answer to his own question – nor does he care to – so he drops that subject with a shrug. )

It says here that you're teaching "a variety of things." What else is there?

( over his dead body! which may happen if izumi outdoes himself and bores howard to death.

he rubs his nose with a swipe of his hand and folds his arms across his chest. flatness is heavy in his tone, ) Paper airplanes, violin, mathematics, and poker.

( of course, he fails to mention that the violin trick he's teaching is the most difficult and impossible to accomplish (playing three octaves across four strings in a hand span), the mathematics he's teaching is infinitesimal calculus, and the poker he's teaching involves rigging the deck (plus how to talk your way out of having your limb(s) broken after being caught cheating). in short, don't expect an inspirational movie about howard's teaching and life skills, a la "dead poets society" or "stand and deliver." )

( hey, now, don't be stingy . . .

izumi hums. so how many activities out of that list have superfluous additions? probably all of them. okay—even with that sentiment on his end, he can see the appeal. people love a challenge. everyone is drawn to watch a video of a guy bicycling with a blindfold over his eyes. this is the same thing, right? )

That's a lot. Are the airplanes next? I'm interested.

( might as well have fun while he's here. this is the only weird booth he's come across. )

( a devilish smirk cuts into his cheeks, ) Only if you beat my record.

( or pay him ten bucks. either way, he's not giving away all his skills for free. just because he has the appearance of a god, doesn't mean he's willing to bestow all his knowledge, kid. he only teaches the best. )

( he worked hard for those ten bucks. isn't the skills fair supposed to be free? he's a student, for goodness' sake. izumi makes a face. )

I'd try, but I can't drink.

( says who? ~~says the organizers of the damn event, you big dummy~~ pish posh, ok, ok, alright. just beat his record, izumi, and howard will teach you everything he knows. )

We'll use apple cider vinegar as a substitute. ( a brow raises lazily. ) You can drink vinegar, right?

( come hell or high water, one of howard's lessons will send someone to the hospital! that's the howard stark guarantee, wink. )

( he doubts that he'll beat the record set by howard, but there's no harm in having a little fun. maybe he'll get close!

still, vinegar? izumi grins. )

No. Not at all.

( march event ) mad skillz

howard stark | teaching: a variety of things | open

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