pineslog | closed ❅ there were monsters beneath our bed.

Entry tags:

closed ❅ there were monsters beneath our bed.

Who: ~~snowflake~~ elsa & ~~behemoth~~ gladio.
Where: gladio's house.
When: july 5.
What: on top of everything, elsa's remembered something tragic and seeks some solace.
Warnings: death talk, grossness, more-than-friends stuff.
[Closed]

[ there is comfort to be found in routine and elsa has known this for a while. but when the routine isn't really what she has done for years and she can't remember what her real day-to-day was like, needless to say she feels rudderless in the water. but that is only the tip of the iceberg.

at least – at the very least – jyn has made a miraculous recovery after the attacks. though they have not known each other for very long, elsa has quickly come to care for her roommate and living in that empty space by herself did not suit her at all. nothing has helped her processed all that has transpired and elsa has not done much to deal with it other than letting the information sink in, listening in on conversations, reading over some of the posts online. it doesn't make it seem any more tangible.

magic, she believes, is something she must know but this goes beyond her realm of understanding, the science too advanced.

she barely sleeps after a day of attempting to help clean up, listening to others speak without responding much herself, internalizing her thoughts as she usually does. it's at night that it manifests in colder room temperatures ( that she tries to keep contained to her bedroom alone ). sometimes she'll care for the still nameless bunny they adopted, petting his long brown fur, and sometimes she'll simply putter about the house or read with a flashlight beneath her covers like she might have done as a child.
a chlid growing up here anyway.

but in the dead of the night, she opens her eyes to find herself crying, tears running down the sides of her face with her lips twitching uncomfortably into a frown.

no. oh no.

her steps are light as she wordlessly opens the door of the house to get to her bicycle, matching pajama shorts and buttoned top still on, and pedals her way to the first place she thinks of. elsa barely takes a moment to gather herself, her cheeks still damp as she lightly rings gladio's doorbell. the bike rests against the side of the house and she waits for him to open the door. it is unlike her, acting so impulsively, but she'll cling for a moment to those false memories and hopes ( no, she knows ) he won't mind that she has in this instance.

the only difference, really, is that this time she's brought a bit of snow. ]

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( there are so many things, so damned many things that had merited implementing his way of distraction, and there is not a damned thing in the world that would have found him either sorry or wishing he could do anything differently. those memories are what bring them to the here and now, and you won't find him pulling away now, either.

he's not. quite expecting her to move when she does, but she does and such a simple movement finds him tipping his face up to maintain some measure of contact with her, lips to lips as the smallest sort of murmur filters up from the back of his throat. as hands briefly settle somewhere around her hips and he peers up at her when she pulls back for breath, his own caught somewhere on the back of his tongue. ) … C'mere.

( fingers curl against her hips, and he pushes up for another soft kiss as he encourages her to settle in his lap, something that feels so damned familiar that his chest almost aches with it. she's not the only one that might just look a bit more certain. )

[ without question, she settles into his lap, her thighs against his with her feet tucked beneath her. one kiss ends and another begins as she runs her fingers through her own hair, brushing pale blonde strands behind her ears. it is comfortable here in this perch and she finds that she ( still ) likes sitting taller than him, almost proud.

his hands find purchase on her hips and that is just enough for the heat from within to ripple through every vein in her body. he has done this before, held her like this as she tested the waters with him and what they were comfortable doing together. her teeth just barely scrape his bottom lip when she kisses him next, breathing him in as much as she can until she decides to pull back.

with one hand curved around his shoulder, she uses the other to trace over the outlines of his tattoo that she can see, the tip of her nail running over every curve of a feather. her tongue flicks out to lick her lips before she leans in to kiss his shoulder ever so gently, murmuring against his skin with cold lips to offset his warmth. ] I remember when you were just starting this.

( it feels like they're teenagers all over again, with her settled against him like this, taller than him in the only way she'll ever be and for as much as she likes it, he's pretty damned fond of it himself, if only because she always seems to look so damned pleased when she's in that particular perch.

it's endearing. like everything else about her.

her teeth scrape over his bottom lip and he gives a low, thrumming sound against her mouth until she pulls back, and he finds himself watching the trail of finger and nail over the detail inked onto his skin, a scant few memories bringing themselves to the surface and leaving him with a small chuckle in the back of his throat. all those itchy moments soothed by the press of her hands and the care she puts into everything.

his hands stay where they are, resting lightly against the curve of her hips, sneaking a kiss to her neck as she leaves one against his shoulder. ) It's 'cause of you that I didn't actually turn into a giant scab. ( good grief. )

[ it is easier to talk about these things as if they hadn't happened instead of as mere hypotheticals. elsa almost sighs in relief when the conversation continues in this vein and she presses kisses along the slope of his shoulder and up his neck, smiling against the hollow for a moment until she kisses her way straight to his lips. all fluttering, fleeting kisses. her body curls around him, arms winding around his neck and she responds in a murmur into his mouth. ]

Anything to help. Always looking out for you.

[ it is a gorgeous tattoo. and if she's behind honest with herself, she very much likes how inked skin looks in contrast with her own pale, unmarked skin. she wants to kiss and touch every inch of it and that unsuppressed desire – that actually does not surprise her. ]

( it's. damned near impossible not to lose himself in her flurry of kisses, over skin etched in ink as well as not, and one of his hands comes up to cup the back of her neck as she rests briefly against the hollow of his throat, that smile curving the line of her mouth in a way that he's sure he can feel, pressed where it is. fingers thread through the loose ends of her hair as she continues to work her way up, presses her mouth against his in another kiss that he swears he can feel all the way down to the marrow of his bones.

for all he cares, in this very moment, everything they have memories of has happened. he refuses to think, for what it's worth, that something that affects them both so deeply is anything other than their own experiences, because he catches himself wondering — has there really ever been a time in his life that he hasn't loved her, hasn't been drawn to her, hasn't made a place for her in his life as easily as anything else?

( no, something in him whispers solemnly, and damned if he doesn't believe it. )

he speaks against her mouth, low and soft and about as genuine as he ever has been. ) You help just by bein' here with me. ( another soft kiss. ) Always have.

[ fleetingly, that heartache grows duller. tomorrow, she will worry once more over the absence of her blood family, the whereabouts of her sister. tomorrow, she can approach this with a clear head as she joins the others in the quest for more answers. right now, there's gladio.

they had said in so many words that these memories were meant to integrate them into this society, makes them feel less like fishes out of water. she cannot deny that it had done the job in the short while she had been awake and functioning. until more of her memories return, as far as she knows, she had some kind of a life here with him, that she has always been hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him.

that certainly is enough to build upon, isn't it? ]

I've been wanting to kiss you since the opening party, [ elsa confesses bashfully, her breath cold against his skin when she exhales. with anyone else, there would be more snow, but with him, she only sits comfortably in his lap like she belongs there. ]

( there is always going to be a tomorrow, a dawn to face the things that had been left the night before, because he's convinced things are always a bit … clearer outside of the small hours of the night, when just about anything can seem unclear, terrifying and unfamiliar.

or the hazy sort of things that had been forgotten and been brought back around again to haunt, to infringe on whatever manner of calm and peace one might have found. to effectively fuck it all up.

but here they are, and here she is like only he remembers her, trusting in him when she finds herself needing him the most, and he. his heart swells and aches all at once, and all he wants to do is reassure her that he's going to remain that constant in her life, whenever she needs it. that has to be enough to build on.

his nose brushes hers with a smile, the softest and most deep-set thing that could only come from one so completely enamored. ) Can't say I wasn't thinkin' the same thing. ( another nose bump, and a brush of lips to the corner of her mouth. ) I hereby give you permission to kiss me as much as you want. I mean … we're both here, and all. ( for fuck's sake, you're hopeless. )

Well, if I'm granted permission, then I might just take advantage of this opening.

[ her voice is lighter, her hand settling over the center of his chest, right over his heart so that she can feel it beating as she had when they fell asleep together, face to face, nose to nose. her younger self once wondered if it meant something when the beats would align with hers when she thought he was sleeping and she lay awake in his arms in the middle of the night.

perhaps it does.

tonight is... somehow more innocent than some of their other evenings, and thoughts of that filter into the way she parts her lips for him again. kissing is perfect in this instance, exactly what she needs to settle her nerves, but that does not stop her from pressing a little further. not too far. she doesn't think herself ready for move further than making out on his couch; something about her past makes her apprehensive, even now. ]

( he'd never been completely asleep when she thought he had been, though he'd gotten pretty decent at it when he discovered she did things that she wouldn't have dared when he was awake — even if it was just to lightly trail her fingertips over the newly-inked lines of his arms, or brush over the stubble that had begun to grow along the line of his jaw, all these tiny, idle things that might not mean much, but to them it's always been about subtlety, and the smaller the action, the word, the more meaning held behind it.

he's thought about those moments a few times recently. well, more than a few times, if he's perfectly honest, because it seems like since he'd run into just after her accident, far more of his waking thoughts have been centered around her. hm.

some things don't change.

he'll never press her — never has and never will — because even though there's a rush of warmth through him when she pushes a bit closer, the touch of her kisses against his mouth are perfect in what they are, because they may as well be discovering one another all over again, and that. that's part of the thrill of it. ) You? Take advantage of anything? ( he has to chuckle, even if it's soft, as he nips lightly at her bottom lip. ) Sounds like a scandal to me.

If I'm to stay with you this evening, I think I might take a mile when you've given me an inch.

[ if she could spend the rest of her days like this with him, wrapped up in him like there is no other place for his arms than around her waist, elsa might just die happy. irresponsibly, but happy. there is something in her that feels guilty for such a thought, this sense of duty that doesn't change in this world or the next. after being lied to, she is reluctant to lend her help to a mysterious group with misinformation and false promises. but there is a responsibility she feels, even as a regular citizen, to help those in need.

but, again, tomorrow.

her hand reaches back to wrap around his wrist, bringing his hand back up to her chest where she places it tenderly over the center, over her heart, the only thing between them being the grey cotton of her pajama top. it is not a sexual move though she would like for his hands to roam as much as they want to, but yet another one of those gestures that make up their extensive history. this is his. ]

I'd give you a mile, and one more for good measure. ( it sounds just as corny as everything else that's come out of his mouth in the last couple of minutes, but it's still just as sincere as everything, too. she's come to him in the middle of the night looking for comfort, respite from memories that might have been better left in the dark for a little while longer, and there is not a damned thing he wouldn't do for her if it meant that she could sleep easily. or at all, for that matter.

his hand against her chest seems almost too-large, the spread of his fingers against her collarbones warm as her heart beats strongly against the center of his palm, and it rests there. rising and falling with each breath she takes in and lets go, the tips of index and middle finger resting against the hollow of her throat in some almost-possessive thing that flickers through the whole of him.

he nibbles at her lips, draws away just enough to trace the rise of a cheekbone with soft, affectionate kisses. ) Hell, I'd give you whatever you wanted.

[ she can't help it. she giggles when he leaves a trail of kisses over her cheek and brings that hand on her chest up to cup the opposite side of her face. he is so warm especially compared to her oft-chilled skin but she likes it. one might even say that she truly does melt around him. ] Just you. And sleep.

[ her lips just catch his thumb to brush against the pad of it. ] Perhaps we should try to sleep.

[ or at least lay in bed together like the used to with his weight and presence somehow keeping all the dark thoughts at bay. her fingers trail down his chest before stopping halfway down his torso and she takes a deep breath. this transition cannot be easy for him too, and she hasn't even thought to ask him in detail how he must be dealing with these announcements left and right. ] If we can sleep, anyway.

( he's not sure he knows how to be anything but soft around her, all those rough edges sanded down to something that has only ever really belonged to her, her presence alone enough to cure him of the roughness that would otherwise make its way into everything else. ( there's a brief pause for another thought here, one in which he remembers worrying that he'd scared her with the edge of his anger that she hadn't yet seen, accompanied by bloodied knuckles and stitches and a good month's worth of detention sitting in the same room as the one that had caused it in the first place.

hate is a pretty damned strong word, and he would never use it lightly. he's he's pretty sure he'd hated hans with every fiber of his being back then.

at least this is little more than a pause before his attention is brought back to her, where it belongs. )

there's a small laugh, little more than a huff of breath against her cheek. ) Well, you got me, so I guess sleep's the only other option. ( there's a small moment in which he considers his next movement, wondering if it's somehow going to be too much — but there are all those old memories again, of nights spent with the entirety of his form wrapped around her as tightly and comfortably as they could both manage, and even if it's been brought to both of their attention through recent events that none of it was real, it's so much easier to give in to the notion that they are, because it feels so much more natural than anything else.

but. tonight isn't for thinking, as their current position has led them both to realize, her in his lap as he prefers and it takes little effort at all to keep her held close to his chest as he effectively scoops her up, stands, as easily as he has so damned many times before and pauses just long enough to nose at her cheekbone before he starts toward his bedroom. ) We can try, at least.

[ they both know she does not need someone to protect her, but she loves that he does anyway, looking out for her just as much as she looks out for him, from breaking noses to the little things like saving seats during lunch and kissing scars after schoolyard bullies went too far. those big and little things add up to a hell of a lot, real or not, and elsa is loath to give any of that up, not when she needs him the most.

this feels exactly how it should be, being scooped up into his arms as if she weighs nothing, holding him close to her as he makes his way towards his bedroom. it is almost second nature, letting her guard down around him to the point where she can fall asleep in his arms and allow his quiet rumbles both soothe her and wake her up in the morning. ( when she manages to sleep in later than him, but that is a topic we are saving for another day. ) ]

I always sleep better with you around.

[ with one kiss to gladio's cheek, she leans in to nestle her face against his neck, smiling against warm skin, a wide curve that she is sure he will be able to feel because he knows her inside and out. she sleeps better because it feels like home, anywhere she is with him. maybe this is not her birth home, but it is a home that is every bit as important as wherever she truly came from. ]

I'm glad I came here instead of staying up all night by myself.

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closed ❅ there were monsters beneath our bed.

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