[She wants to believe Bucky more than anything, but it's hard to let go of that blame and self loathing. She should have known better, she should have been more careful, she should have listened and questioned and kept her distance instead of falling into this carefully crafted fantasy life with the big house and the gorgeous husband. It's not that she didn't know it was all bullshit, it's the fact that she wanted to believe in it so badly that she let herself ignore every warning sign there was.
He never hurt her, but he was using her. He didn't act against the people she cares about here, but he would have if it got him what he wanted. She wanted to believe that she was capable and worth something, but when she gave Rumlow the choice, he wouldn't even try.
Maybe she should have kept playing along. Maybe she should have taken him out or something, isn't that what agents do? She's not one of them. She doesn't have the skills or the brains. She's a liability.]
How do you... keep it together like that? How are you so sure and so calm and so... good when people like him forced you to be their murderslave and took away all the shiz that made you Bucky? Now we're here and it's like you gotta go through it all over again with the memories and...
[Kenzi wipes at her eyes, shaking her head and taking a step back. Do NOT lose it on him, you drunken mess.]
Can you teach me how to be like you? Like... effective. And awesome. And-- I mean, you don't owe me shit. We aren't even related, but... I'd probably be a way better person if we were?
no subject
He never hurt her, but he was using her. He didn't act against the people she cares about here, but he would have if it got him what he wanted. She wanted to believe that she was capable and worth something, but when she gave Rumlow the choice, he wouldn't even try.
Maybe she should have kept playing along. Maybe she should have taken him out or something, isn't that what agents do? She's not one of them. She doesn't have the skills or the brains. She's a liability.]
How do you... keep it together like that? How are you so sure and so calm and so... good when people like him forced you to be their murderslave and took away all the shiz that made you Bucky? Now we're here and it's like you gotta go through it all over again with the memories and...
[Kenzi wipes at her eyes, shaking her head and taking a step back. Do NOT lose it on him, you drunken mess.]
Can you teach me how to be like you? Like... effective. And awesome. And-- I mean, you don't owe me shit. We aren't even related, but... I'd probably be a way better person if we were?