pineslog | And I'll use you as a warning sign

Entry tags:

And I'll use you as a warning sign

Who: Okay this turned into a Poe catchall + Various
Where: Various locations/listed in the headings
When: May 1st-31st
What: May Catchall - specific closed prompts, some open threads
Warnings: N/A yet
[Open and Closed]

May 10th - Open

Tequila Mockingbird has Cassian's liquor of choice in the name, which is why Poe picked it. He's not a big drinker, but between the memories, the conversation with Jyn, the... party. Well. He has a few reasons to drink.

The reason he picked for tonight was to pour one out for L'ulo, for Muran, for the pilots whose names and faces he hasn't yet remembered. Not for his mother--it doesn't seem right, to drink for her. She wouldn't want it, her son inebriated and alone at a bar, wallowing in her memory. Poe won't pretend that isn't what he's doing. Wallowing, letting himself feel the grief and pain he tries so hard to outpace.

Jyn is right. He has to stop sometime, and taking the opportunity now to brace himself for future losses is better than breaking under one too many.

His table is in the corner, in a quiet part of the restaurant. Not by any virtue of paranoia. Poe doesn't have the same hardwired need to keep his back to a wall and his eyes on the exits that some veterans do. It was just the most private space he could find while still being around people. Drinking at home where Rey might have seen him would have felt worse than this, but drinking somewhere entirely alone wouldn't have been right either. He might not have squadmates to share a glass with, but having some form of life circulating around him is better than being entirely alone. Plus, there's BB-8, sitting underneath the table, domed head tilted to rest against Poe's leg.

Maker, he's glad to have his droid.

May 12th - Open

Poe is beating up a freestanding punching bag thing. He's been going to Crossbones Boxing in the morning on the days he doesn't work. He'll go stir-crazy if he just hangs around the house, and being grounded for this long is driving him bonkers as it is. He's tried to keep his head down, tried to be good, but man (thump, kick, wham) he going to blow a sensor if he doesn't get some air time.

It doesn't help that beating up things is usually the time he spends talking to BB-8 about whatever's on his mind. Here, where it's public and monitored like everywhere else, they have to keep up the same act. So BB-8 sits, watching, grumbling to himself with a towel draped over his head dome, while Poe tries to kill an inanimate object.

May 13th - Open

Poe is in a tree.

It is a tall tree. A very tall tree, near the edge of town, just inside those woods they aren't technically supposed to enter.

He is very high in this very tall tree.

Fuck gravity to be honest.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

About to claim she doesn't need to be armed to be dangerous, Jyn remembers a flicker of Saw's voice. Cause no lasting damage and keep it clean. This is a spar; you’re not fighting the Emperor here, a bored reminded for Jyn to not debilitate her sparring partner. The memory pulls at her heart, making her chest ache, but she ignores it and steps back onto the path with Poe.

"I'm not tired." She's also as terrible a liar as her father had once been, but she would rather lie badly than admit weakness. "I'm only concerned for your well being because if some completely avoidable accident befalls you Cassian will be insufferable."

"Okay," he says, accepting her answer while also clearly not believing it. That he's touched at the thought of Cassian worrying goes unvoiced; it's mutual, after all, particularly with what Cass told him about the mysterious body and the sickness in the water supply.

The feeling's only stronger now, with the loss of family on his mind.

"So you tracked him down."

"I ran into him," Jyn corrects because otherwise it implies she was less of a shitty person than she really is. Can't have that.

She finally releases the shirt, clasping her hands together in front of her for lack of anything to do with her hands besides tug at the too big shirt. Cassian hadn't complained when she borrowed it, nor has he asked for it back so she has decided it's hers now. It's only been a few days but that is seemingly enough to fall back into the odd, peaceful comfort of being near him.

"He found me." As usual.

He found her, and she's wearing his clothes.

At least that's Poe's guess, from the way that shirt hangs on her. It tells him a few things about Cassian and Jyn's relationship, anyway.

"You found each other, accidentally or otherwise," Poe says. It would be a diplomatic middle-ground if not for his idiot smile.

That is a diplomatic answer except, "Why do you look like that?" Her eyes narrow at him. It's not just amnesia that is crippling her understanding this time, it's sheer inexperience with normal human relationships. She doesn't know why he seems so pleased with the idea of the two of them finding each other.

Especially because it's Cassian -- he keeps coming back for her, he does all the work.

"Well, my mother and father loved each other very much," he says, entirely serious. "I'm told I have my mother's eyes."

Jyn is gonna be real confused by the idea that some people think this loser is a suave poster boy. She will also be confused over the idea of Cassian being such a desireable partner to other people. Sorry y'all. She doesn't buy into that trope.

As it is, she reaches over and shoves him. "Oh piss off."

No more confused by it than Poe is, generally speaking.

He stumbles a step, hand to his chest in feigned injury. "You asked."

BB-8 makes a noise confirming that Jyn did ask, though he's not sure what that has to do with either Poe's answer or Jyn's reaction. Poe just grins at him before he says, "You and Cassian are staying together?"

"Cassian has his own home." And a roommate, too. Jyn has her own. That doesn't mean he isn't currently at her house crashing in her guest bedroom after making her dinner earlier in the night but that is neither here nor there because whatever he is implying is not correct.

"Did you find out who lives in the rest of your house?"

"Only one person, so far. Rey. She's nice."

And blunt in a similar fashion to Jyn, come to think of it. They would either like each other or want to kill each other, he's pretty sure. Hopefully the former. "I've been thinking, it's kind of a waste of space having the whole place with just the two of us. If you or Cassian wanted somewhere to sack out on nights like these."

Nights like what, well. He's pretty sure he knows what sort, whether she tells the truth about it or not.

Rey the girl that sounds like her. She doesn't comment on Rey, too busy looking sideways at Poe, mouth slanting down.

"I don't share." She doesn't know why, but she knows she is very unwilling to share her living space, feeling slightly claustrophobic just thinking about it. Besides, she'd woken up screaming the night before, she doesn't need to wake up an entire house because of her amnesiac trauma. "But you should mention that to Cassian."

"All right. I will. You sure he wouldn't rather stay with you?"

He stretches, reaching up until his arms quiver. "You're squadmates. Or does that still count as sharing?"

For once, he's not teasing when he asks the question.

"It's not like that." They're teammates, obviously, but Jyn doesn't have enough context for anything. She's pretty sure they only met a week ago and she doesn't have the energy to actually ask Cassian if she's write.

She's not touching what Cassian does or doesn't want with a ten foot pole.

"Like what?" No, seriously, like what? They're squadmates. Sharing quarters seems perfectly natural, as far as Poe is concerned.

BB-8 chirps, seconding the question. BB-8, unlike Poe, is not an idiot about certain things. BB-8, unlike Poe, actually pays attention to human expression of certain feelings. And he's nosy.

"Whatever Cassian was part of, I wasn't." She huffs a frustrated breath, shoving her disheveled hair back from her face. "Look, I don't remember."

She remembers the crew of Rogue One and K2's indignant acceptance of her existence, but she doesn't remember what they were doing, where they were going, why they were doing anything or going anywhere. New friends, though, they were new.

"Oh. Sorry, I'll--" He gestures meaninglessly, the motion apologetic. "I didn't mean to push. I'm not much better off, I should know not to."

BB-8 twitters about meaning well, and Poe just smiles at him. "Meaning well and doing good aren't the same thing, buddy."

"It's..." She waves her hand dismissively. Everything she retained after the accident sucked, everything she has remembered since then also sucks so she shouldn't be getting bent out of shape over questions about a life that is clearly going to continue reminding her how shitty it was.

"Cassian and I we didn't-- we don't--" Ah why don't any of these tenses work! "We haven't known each other long so I'm not about to move in with him." Even though they look at each other like they're in love, that is irrelevant. Even though he is at her house right now, that is also irrelevent, she can always make him leave. "Besides, you don't want your cousin with me. He literally broke me out of prison. Not exactly good roomate material."

Broken--

Poe frowns, tilting his head thoughtfully. "Huh. I think... I've done that, too."

He grins at her. "Not you, obviously, but I'm pretty sure I've broken someone out of prison. Must be a family hobby."

(Technically he's done it... a couple of times.)

You know what else is a family trait? Being incorrigible. Though, to be fair. It wasn't Cassian that broke her out, just her team and his droid. RIP Melshi. That's splitting hairs she doesn't care or know about. Remembering Wobani was enough.

"How do you do it? Nothing fazes you."

What do you know, something that... actually fazes him. He scrubs his hand through his hair, clearly perplexed by the question.

"That's not true."

He can think of one thing off the top of his head: Caroline. Caroline, and their confusing, heated, wonderful, fake shared memories. Other, less pleasant things crowd into his thoughts. All the things that have kept him up or made him flinch from shadows.

He digs his hands into his pockets. "I just... stay ahead."

Outpace the bad feelings until you can't.

"That seems..." Her uninjured shoulder lifts in a shrug as she turns out of the park and on to the street again. Idly she notices that she is heading toward her house. "Inadvisable."

As if Jyn doesn't do the same thing. She compartmentalizes so much that when one tiny figment of her buried past came back it was nearly debilitating. That doesn't mean she doesn't continue down that road -- she's tucked Bodhi and Chirrut and Baze and K2 into their little boxes next to the ones containing memories of her mother and father and Saw. No doubt there are other little boxes tucked away, Jyn just blissfully doesn't remember them right now. The lack of memories has been more of a gift than she realizes, as frustrating as it has been for her.

"You're going to stop sometime."

Three X-wings in the sky over a rocky planet, no A-wing in sight. Another memory, a different place: Everything's easy for Poe Dameron, right?

"We all stop sometime."

Pull up, he thinks. BB-8 chirps a worried question and Poe waves a hand, for all intents and purposes relaxed. "It's nothing, buddy."

The borderline buzzer noise Poe gets in response tells him what BB-8 thinks of that answer, but Poe shrugs it off. Not today, not here, and not with so many interested neighbors. "If I'm supposed to be shocked by your being in prison, by the way. I mean, it matters first of all what you were there for. It matters more what you've done since. Besides, I trust Cassian's judgement, which might be my first mistake."

Edited 2017-05-12 04:05 (UTC)

Jyn is never going to admit the real reason she was in prison, not even to Cassian. Betraying Blue will go with her to her grave.

"Definitely your first mistake," she agrees seriously, as if she doesn't trust Cassian's judgment. As if she hasn't been deferring to it lately. She's joking anyway, even if it's impossible to tell because Jyn is zero fun at all.

He studies her face, trying to see if that's a joke. Trying to determine if there is a tiny, prickly sense of humor under that slightly-less-tiny, prickly exterior. Given how much Poe himself has been hanging around Cassian since his cousin--since his friend--pulled him off the street, and given the kind of humor Cassian seems to employ... it's probably a joke.

His lips twitch into a smile. Not one of his cavalier, it's all fine and so am I smiles, just a tiny expression of amusement.

"Yeah, well. I've been told my judgement's not great either."

"Also genetic." That comes with the faint ghost of a smirk. "You know you live on the opposite side of town from me, your walk home is going to be twice as long if you keep following me."

Following, because she can't just admit they're walking together. Nah.

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